So... The Project MayHAM staff went to Wally World today. Big Cat had a prescription to pick up, and I went along for the ride. Beats the hell out of hanging out with my future ex-wife.... So we had about 45 minutes to kill waiting for the scrip, so we just kinda wandered around the store... We looked at some DVD's, shot the shit... You know... the usual.... Well, Jay was absolutely STARVING, so we went to the food section of our local economy-killing superstore, to see what the scoop was in the microwavable frozen shit section.
Sometimes, you get a hankerin' for something that you can't quite identify. It happens to my fat ass at least once a week... Today, the victim of this mysterious phenomenon was the one and only Gato Grande... We were eyeballing everything. Pizza, egg rolls, burritos.. You fucking name it...When we stumbled upon the shit that we would ultimately puchase(Stouffer's Meat Loaf and Enchiladas-Party Size.... Bitchezzzz), some rather "colorful" banter was being thrown about.
Big Cat was balls deep in frozen magical deliciousness like a spotted mountain cheetah when I heard a small voice behind me: " Do you really need to swear?"...
Keep in mind... I'm not doing jumping jacks screaming "FUCKSHITASSBITCHCUNT, SHOOBIDEEDOOWOPPP!!!!!!"
We're not being obnoxious in any way. Usually, we probably would be... But Not This Day...
Until this point, we're in the aisle alone. "Jay... Try this shit... It looks fucking delicious"... That's it. We're not dicussing the benefits of serial killers raping nuns in the ass...
Now, in my line of work, I have to take this shit with a smile on my face.... I have to be nice. "I apologize for any inconvenience" and whatnot... In recent weeks I've made a conscious decision to not take shit from strangers whilst not in uniform. And I pounced on the opportunity. "Yeah, actually, I fucking DO!" At this point, Big Cat rears his head from the cooler to see what's going on.. "Why don't you mind your own fucking business?" Apparently this woman thought I would immediately be apologetic. She was wrong. "I would but you're standing right next to me!" She starts ranting about how that kind of language is "disgusting" and we need to "behave in public"... I cut her off with my own rant about how people talk and how she isn't my "goddamn mother.. take a fucking walk"... Jayson asks what the problem is and she says "What if my kids were with me"..... "They're not, so shut the fuck up, CUNT"... Jay adds a "Have a nice day" as she rounds the corner out of our sight....
In all honesty, can someone explain to me how someone is so taken aback by mildly "offensive" language, that they feel the need to chastise 2 much larger, mean looking, fucking strangers? There weren't any children within earshot.... What if we were carrying firearms? What if we were mentally unstable enough to unload our clips into her arrogant, ignorant ass? Pretty fucking brave.... I take enormous amounts of shit from complete fucking strangers for 60 hours a week. .. I do not have the time or patience to eat people's righteous better-than-me bullshit when I'm off the clock. And I will no longer do so. Who the fuck do people think they are? Leave me alone and mind your own fucking business...
I think the point of this story is this:
Fuck That Cunt.
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