... I"m just getting fucking started.
It's high time I started spilling. I haven't slept in two days. I'm sitting here, on my couch at midnight. My daughter is sleeping soundly in her new bedroom.... Arielle... with my unborn son inside her uterus.. is snoring in my bed... And I sit here. attempting to watch The A-Team movie. I'm just plain exhausted. I need some rest... All the sleep in the world has left me increasingly lazy, depressed, and completely unmotivated.... so now, we're gonna try sumpin' different. Fuck sleep. Everyone else is sleeping... Maybe now I can be a little fucking productive.... I just want to be left alone. The madness of my life has all at once inspired me and robbed me of any sense of creativity I once had. I feel this need to get some stuff out there... but nothing is popping in my head. There are too many distractions in the daylight hours.
A friend sent me an e-mail last week... " Twist out of reality"... If it were only that easy. Every time I think things are under control, Shit gets even weirder... My relationships are beginning to rapidly deteriorate. I'm erratic, nasty, and cold to the people I should be closest to.... That's putting it lightly... I've been a prick... to everybody.A.... I have zero remorse.... and B... It's probably gonna get worse before it gets better. Cigarette Time.
I'm making a pledge right here and now. The first installment of The Project MayHAM PodCAST will be available In the next 7 days....And... Blank page be damned... This sad sack of stress is going to begin work on something big. Like... real fucking big. Stay tuned.
I'm just getting started.
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