The Narcissist....

Another way that the narcissist’s ego gets special attention is through the role of being a victim. Welcome to the victimized extreme narcissist. Most persons recognize ego as arrogance. At the same time they fail to see the subtle deception of ego when it takes the role of a being a victim. As kind and compassion-driven human beings, we easily are fooled by this form of extreme ego…..

 The deception of the ego is that the narcissist can hide behind misfortune and victimization in order to shame you into feeling and believing that they suffer more than you do. They will say that you don’t care enough for them. They will make you feel that you have not done enough to help them. The ego wants attention, control, gain, and power over others by positioning itself as a “poor and helpless” victim. It does this all the while it soaks up the attention and control over others. In the eyes of an extreme narcissist, their situation is always right and totally justified. Instead of taking responsibility for self and consequences, the extreme narcissist tries to make others feel responsible for their plight. Because extreme narcissists are incredibly adept at the game of manipulation, they will always find a way to turn the tables on you.

 They will try to make you responsible and feel guilty for not helping them or taking their side and cause. Extreme narcissists often shift gears from visible grandiosity to acting that they are better than others because they suffer more than others. You can see an extreme narcissist who hogs the limelight and credit from achievements and self-praise also getting similar recognition from milking an injury or a seeming misfortune that has occurred to them. Victimized extreme narcissists are on the constant prowl looking for any gullible soul that will believe their version of calamity whether it is real, exaggerated, or fictitious. What they claim that makes their calamity different is that it is worse for them. Beware of this kind of extreme narcissism. It is just as selfish and manipulating as that of a pompous egotist. The moment they see that you don’t “fully” cooperate and act with extreme concern for them, serving and pampering them, they will eliminate you from their list of “loving” folks.


 They may even badmouth you and gossip or slander you as being selfish and uncaring. Imagine that! I have seen these types over and over again in work I have done in the field of pain medicine management. It is usually the individuals who are humble, full of gratitude, and joyful who are the ones most capable of coping with their injuries and pain. Those who are selfish, moaning, and full of self-pity take much longer to heal or sometimes never heal but go further downhill in their health. My recommendation is to avoid treating this person’s misfortune as the ultimate suffering of all humans. Be polite. Recognize their pain and no more. Don’t be pulled into their web of emotional manipulation. Stay away from extreme narcissists.

I Guess It's Time....

Everything, and I mean everything, has crumbled away faster than it was built. These relationships, points of view, and ideals that we have all been building our lives upon for the last two and a half years have washed away like a sand castle at high tide.
 Maybe it was the fact that in some strange,drunken stupor we became comfortable with this monolith that we had created; and that comfort led us down this path..... Maybe the thought process was that " We're all Fuck Ups and Degenerates... Nothing can stop this juggernaut now". Then you wake up one day to realize that every post that you leaned upon when you were tired, and every "safe haven" have become pillars of hell fire and snake pits. The sad fact is that we all have made it this way. The party can only last so long before the proverbial " cops" get called.
The only comfort that you can throw yourself into is the fact that everything happens for a reason, and I truly believe that.

Maybe it's because that's all I have left.

It's the only thing I can say out loud to myself, and know that it still rings true. Do I know why all of this happened?
Honestly?
Absolutely not...

I have no idea. 

Now some of you reading this may think you know what I am speaking of...
You're wrong.
 That's only one piece of this tragedy.
No, I speak of everything.
Realizing you made a mistake a "year and a quarter" ago.... Realizing that no temptation is worth losing the the things you love,and that if you are going to hold values and voice them, then stick by them, or you will lose yourself in the storm.
 I am speaking of the state of us as individuals, not as a Unit. Because frankly, there is no more unity. And maybe I am speaking only for myself... I can't remember the last time I felt this empty, this vulnerable. Nothing feels normal or right,...nothing.
But, in the long run, that's what its all about. There is NOTHING you can do that will be a "magic fix".... 

You can choose to put things back the way they used to be, but it won't fix anything. It's all about the discomfort. The discomfort means things are changing. It means you are about to embark on the next chapter. Sure, maybe the last chapter didn't end the way you wanted it to, but always remember, the success of the next chapter all depends on how you deal and respond to this transition. If you fight it, nothing will change and you will be in the same position that you have grown to hate. So please, I beg all of you... Embrace this change.
Let old feuds go.
 Let those longing feelings for the past go.
There is a reason its the past.
I would like to sincerely apologize to everyone I effected.
Everyone.
I am sorry for doing my part to make things end this way, and I hope the next chapter of all of your lives make all of the pieces come together.
I hope that in the future you are at least able to look upon these days and say "Yeah...That's why I am here now, because I lived through those days".
I wish only the best for each and every one of you.
And in closing, I just want to say...
I will miss the days when we ruled the world....
And I am sorry...