We Now Continue With Your Regularly Scheduled Programming....

I can't believe how long it's been since I've done this....
I was fumbling through the archives last night, and realized that the two year anniversary of this thing came and went two fucking months ago. No wonder I'm depressed... Project MayHAM is my outlet. And it's been missing since June. Well... Here it goes....


1.Fuck You.
That's right... Fuck you. You know who you are. You know why. I shouldn't have to explain.

... But, hey... If I didn't at least EXPLAIN.... 

 The overwhelming need for people to get involved in the life problems of other people, while their own life is falling apart just boggles my fucking mind... Listen... I know this is a trailer park, but come the fuck ON. Must we adhere to every possible stereotype known to man in regards to living here? Mind your own business, and quit starting shit.
   
Yes, this is all about ME. That was the whole fucking point. You knew that going in. Stop complaining. If you don't like it... You know where the door is. Don't fall apart now... You would do yourself a huge favor if you would just fucking learn that the more you try to pull me in, the harder I'm going to fight to get away. I am Jack's complete lack of surprise that you haven't figured that out yet.   I'm in NO shape to be anything to anyone. Just back the fuck off. When I'm ready.... (if)... You'll be the first to know...

Not one person reading this will ever know how difficult it was for me to finally file for divorce... Not one. I can pontificate until I'm blue in the face, and no amount of words could EVER explain why I did what I did, and why it's still, to this day, eating me alive.... Fuck.. half the time I don't know... To certain people, who think they know me, I say this: You have no fucking CLUE.
 Leave it alone. The past six months have sliced me open... taken everything out... and put everything back in sideways. If you think you knew me before, be advised.... That dude is loooong fucking GONE.
I'm still trying to figure me out after all of this... What I do, or who I choose to surround myself with has nothing to do with you. NOTHING.  Let it go.
Quit taking it fucking personally... If you still want to be a part of my life, that's fine... But shut the fuck up about who else I spend my fucking time with, and trying to figure out what's going on in my head... Do you hear me pissing and moaning about the people you hang out with? No. Because it ain't my place. 
Where the fuck were you when I was living in my truck... In the woods? 
Trying to think of a reason every day not to put a god damn gun to my head?
On top of that...
When the two reasons I DID have, hate my fucking guts?
Where would that leave YOU?
Hmmm?


That's it for today...  To be fucking continued...